


Promise

by deltachye



Category: Free!
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Fluff and Angst, High School, Long-Distance Relationship, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 04:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18513988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/pseuds/deltachye
Summary: [reader x natsuya kirishima]you wish for once he'd stay.[DW19]





	Promise

He promises a lot to you.

He promises that you’ll get to go to that stationary shop you’ve always wanted to go to for your bujo journaling. He promises that you’ll go for bubble tea at that cute new place that just opened; and yes, you can get extra pearls, too. He promises he won’t watch the next episode of the latest anime without you. Each broken one hurts a little more, a little harder. But it’s all meaningless because he also promised:

_I will never leave you._

Nothing else matters as long as he can keep that one to you.

It’s not like he means to screw up. It’s just the kind of guy he is. If something slips its mind, it’s because he’s got bigger things he’s chasing down. Natsuya’s free-spirited, airy yet stubborn. He’s strong willed. He knows who he is, even if what he is scatters all over the place. That just means there’s more of him to love. And god, you do, hopelessly so. You’re loathe to admit it, especially to his smug face. It’s embarrassing how much you love him, but he’s everything to you.

The two of you started dating when he was in twelfth grade and you were in eleventh. You’d been back and forth between sports for a bit, but this year you were really dedicated to swimming. Your family’s life was built by the water. It’s your blood; a life force. The cold shock when you first jump in; the gradual way it seeps around you, warming to you; the way it parts for you, holds you.

Though you don’t really have a defined swimming style yet. You’re still trying things out, finding out what fits you. At tryouts you could have performed better, you know. Your time was fine, but you didn’t feel the surge of pride you get when you win something you worked heartbreakingly hard for. So, after getting the callback, you only become more determined than ever to improve.

It’s the first day of official practice and you line up with the other girls, trying not to be judgemental, but also failing at that. A lot of your teammates look to be a bigger build than you—longer, stronger. Makes sense for a powerhouse school. But you don’t take it to heart. It won’t matter in the water if you can beat them.

The guys file in afterwards, chattering amongst themselves. Soufukan doesn’t divide the swim team by gender or grade level, even; it all depends on how fast you swim. That’s it. It’s a bit daunting, being pitted against people who might’ve swum their whole life. But the premise is exciting, too. You imagine yourself already, gasping as your head lifts through the water, your vision blurring as water speckles your goggles—and, when you rip them off and squint at the faraway scoreboard, your name rests above everybody else.

One person’s voice is particular booming, echoing around the pool. It seems to catch on the water as light ripples in the pool undulate. You can’t actually tell what he’s saying, but you turn to look reflexively. His amber eyes shine so brightly it’s nearly menacing. Chatoyant in moonlight. A chill rips through you and the goosebumps flare on your arms.

You’re a rational girl. Love at first sight just does not happen. But when he smiles at you, smug in the way the left corner of his lip rises crookedly above the right, your heart stops. And suddenly nothing else matters.

 

\---

You don’t actually start dating Natsuya until much later in the year, after getting to know him. He rises up to his type as a dumb jock and flirts with you relentlessly. It’s the usual: compliments on your swimming, your hair. Jibes about your height, your ‘cute cheeks’, your funny smile. Whiny requests for you to care for him. At first you just like the attention, but as time ticks by, things grow direr. Now it’s bad because when he talks to you your heart flutters and you’ve swallowed butterflies. It’s bad because when he looks at you, you can feel your face warming to the touch. It’s bad because he doesn’t even have to be there—you just _think_ about him, and it’s enough.

At the time you didn’t think you really had a chance. You were just a second year and he was in his third, preparing to go off to college and leave high school life behind. You were only just starting to think about what to do for the rest of your life, and he’d already filled out his paperwork. Besides, what made you good enough for him? He was popular and bold, and although you got along with others, it wasn’t like him. He seemed to snatch people on a whim and they became lifelong friends within seconds. The best you could do was enjoy your time with him until it ran out, and say goodbye while he flew away from the nest. Maybe when he was gone things would get better. But they kept getting worse and worse until your chest ached and there was nothing left to cry about.

Practice was wrapping up that day. You pulled yourself up out of the water and turned so that your legs floated freely. Your times were getting shitter. Seconds worse, which was years in this world. It didn’t matter how disappointed the coach was in you; you were the angriest at yourself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could you let a stupid crush affect you like this? Shouldn’t you know better?

By the time you realized you were spacing out, the pools were empty. Distant rumbling sounds of showers seep back into the open space. You sigh and kick your feet, letting water splash around. You’d have to be better than this.

You’re not totally alone though. You hear the wet slaps of footsteps and turn around, feeling your heart seize in your chest when your body recognizes him before your brain. Natsuya raises an eyebrow and points beside you. Reluctantly, you scoot over so he can sit.

“You okay, [Name]?”

You wish he wouldn’t say your name like that. It makes it a whole lot harder to move on when the syllables roll off his tongue like chimes. His tone is unusually quiet, and it almost makes you lose it then and there.

“Fine!” you reply, altering your tone so it’s more upbeat. It’s way too chirpy for you and you know he knows it, but you pretend like you don’t notice and start getting to your feet. “I guess I’m just having an off-day. No worries.”

“Wait.” He grabs your wrist. His hands are still wet and cold from touching the tiles and it shoots electricity up and down your arm. Slowly, you sit back down as he watches you intently. His eyes are endless.

“…what?” you prompt when he doesn’t say anything. He’s still holding onto your hand, staring at you. Was he trying to figure out how to yell at you? Do upperclassmen-like responsibilities by bullying the lowerclassmen into performing better?

Nothing in the world could have prepared you for the kiss.

It’s salty and tastes of chlorine, as the both of you reek of it. An experienced tongue darts wetly across your lower lip. Tentative. Sweeter than the water that beads off his hair, landing cold diamonds across your cheeks. But you’re frozen, eyes reflexively squeezed shut. Your feel pain in your palms and realize you’re gripping them so hard your nails cut into your flesh.

Natsuya pulls back sharply and it’s over. For once he looks flustered, skin mottling into a patchwork of pinks.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “I shouldn’t have done that without asking.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” you manage to breathe out when your brain settles back into place. You don’t think you’re angry, but you don’t know what you’re feeling at all. It’s like you’re floating on your back, your hair drifting out around you like tendrils. The dazed expression on your face must look bad because he grimaces apologetically.

“I’m so sorry. Forget that happened.”

“No!” you gasp, before he can move to leave. It’s your turn to grab onto him before he can get away, grasping his strong arm with both of your much smaller hands. You swallow thickly, trying to think of what to say. What words can you even put together to justify the emotional mess whirling around inside of you? But Natsuya seems to get it and leans back in.

You wonder if he remembers it as well as you do.

 

\---

When Natsuya graduates, you both have the dreaded conversation about ‘what next?’.

It’d been fun. You tell him it’s okay if it’s time to move on. Both of you will have to start new chapters of your life. Maybe the time you spent together was all that was meant to happen.

It’s shit. You’re lying through your teeth. You want him forever. You don’t even want him to leave home; you don’t want him anywhere away from _you_.

Though he agrees that it’s not time, yet, and he wants to stay with you even when he’s far. Promise 1: I’ll still love you. It’s signed with a kiss.

You believed it, you really did.

 

\---

Long distance is tough, but it’s not as bad as you thought it would be. With the time-zone difference you’re kept up to ungodly hours as he goes about his regular day. Vice versa. Sometimes the Skype calls are just awkward silences and all you wish you could do is feel his warmth on your skin.

He seems to be moving through his life phases at breakneck speed. Of course he hasn’t changed from being the hotshot transfer student. He went to college, suddenly dropped out, and has decided that he’s going to be a competitive swimmer. But only when he feels like it, he says. He also says he’ll come visit home soon.

Promise 2: You won’t be alone for long.

 

\---

When you graduate you’ve already decided where you want to go. It’s the most prestigious school for your major there is, and although the anticipation is nerve wracking, you’re excited to move on with your life.

Natsuya came for the ceremony. Although you should’ve been bursting with joy, and would’ve been a couple months ago, it kind of feels like too little too late. But he stays for a while this time, deciding to settle back home. Slowly, your trust in him regrows.

_“Forgiveness is the scent of the violet on the heel that has crushed it.”_

He’s still impulsive and stupid in the head. But it brings your life an energy you didn’t know you missed this badly, and the both of you build off of each other with increasing synergy. Loving him becomes easier than ever before. In hindsight, the ring might have been a bad idea. But you didn’t know better. You wanted to believe.

Promise 3: We’ll be together forever.

 

\---

When he hurts himself, you’re devastated, but the toll it takes on him almost seems impossible for this world. It’ll recover, but not for a while. He acts like he’s died.

Natsuya loses the sparkle he always has. His witty bite you used to love becomes constant anger. He lashes out at anything there is to antagonize. Worse than that is when he loses even that and becomes silent, corpse-like. It’s exhausting. You want to hit him until he comes him again. You want him to realize this isn’t the end, you fucking idiot! It’s not the end yet. It can’t be.

So you stay by his side anyways, determined, because you promised. You promised him when he promised you. And yet, the one thing Natsuya keeps true is his stubbornness, and he refuses to be helped. You really did your best, but,

“It’s best if we break up.”

It wasn’t enough.

 

\---

You didn’t know Natsuya was back in Japan until you hear he’s competing in the All-Japan. Somebody says it casually but his name practically socks you in the gut, winding you. After the two of you had broken up, you’d picked up the pieces and carried on. Maybe you could’ve tried to keep being friends, but your edges were too sore for that at the time. You hated him at first. Later, you resented him. Finally, you accepted it—but forgiveness? Out of the question.

Didn’t matter anyway. When you mustered the courage and good will to check back on him, he’d already taken flight somewhere else. That hurt you all over again, so you decided, fine. Goodbye Natsuya.

Controlling your steps so you aren’t sprinting, you slowly make your way to the viewing area. The pamphlet trembles in your hands. You don’t really want to read it because you don’t want to know, but finally you take a deep breath and tear it open. It takes a while before you find him: Kirishima Natsuya.

Damn.

You’re not over him. You’d seen other people, fooled around a bit. It hadn’t been all bad. But nobody else ever gave you the deep rooted sense of joy Natsuya had. They were fine in that they were just that—fine. Normal people, content in their lives. But Natsuya had _fire_ , which allured you so much from the water. He had a pull to him that made you say ‘yes’ even when your mind said ‘wait’.

Coincidence and fate are things you don’t really understand, but cruelty is something you do. Somebody bumps into you on the stairs and you jolt forwards, dropping your pamphlet. With a scowl you bend down to pick up the paper and turn around to give a proper fuck you to whoever was clumsy enough to hit you like that, and you see

Him.

“Oh. [Name], is that you?”

“…yes.” It’s stiff and polite. You don’t smile; you can’t bring yourself to. Hell, you can barely look at him. Somehow he’s gotten even taller, leaner. His brown hair still has those warm subtle curls you used to wind your fingers through.

“Hey, you look well! It’s been a while.”

“Right.”

Maybe if you were a bit softer, a bit less angry, you could’ve been happier to see him. But this was a man who was so selfish that he pushed you away, to the furthest point, over the edge. This was a man who made promises and flew off with them half-said. This was a man who forgot to take his ring to you back.

He senses the apprehensive hostility and reaches up to scratch his neck. He does that when he gets nervous.

“You know… I really should’ve. Reached out earlier. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. It was wrong of me. I was a coward, I know. I’m sorry I was immature.”

You hate that he’s apologizing, because it gives you less reason to hate him. But he’s right in that the both of you are older now. You’ve matured; grown up without him. You shrug as nonchalantly as you can.

“That’s in the past. But, Natsuya—how’s your…?”

You trail off meaningfully and he beams. The smile melts you into a puddle just like it did all those years ago.

“It’s healed, actually. It took a while, but I’m at my peak. I’m racing Ikuya, y’know? Remember him? Stick around for that.” As an afterthought he asks hastily, “are you competing today too?”

“Um, no. I quit competitive swimming to focus on school. I’m just here to support old friends…”

“Oh. That’s too bad, you always were beautiful to watch in the water.”

Why does he say those things so easily? Doesn’t he know what that does to you? What _he_ does to you? He’s flippant, brazen, and it pisses you off so fucking much because all you want to do is kiss him poolside like you did so many times before. You want him to hold you tight, and fuck, you even want him to lie to you again.

“Anyways, let’s catch up later. I have to go meet my girlfriend, but we should definitely hang out.”

Your heart jitters. Girlfriend.

Natsuya realizes what he’s said wrong and gives a strained smile. His hand twitches upwards like he’s about to touch you. Just seeing that makes you remember the way his arm curls around your waist. He always cherished your curves, lathering them with love. But then it drops as he thinks better of it.

“See you later, [Name]? It’s a promise.”

You want to hope that he’s just trying to fill the void like you had. You even want to ask, if you had the courage, “do you still love me?” And you want him to say “yes, I do”. You want to scream at him for fucking you over and breaking your heart and you want him to bow his head and apologize. And then you want things to be okay again, where the two of you go for long walks. You want him to send you stupid snaps of things he saw that reminded him of you. You want to lace your arm around his and get pulled along with his strong lull. You want to be able to stretch up on your tippy toes as he teases you for being unable to kiss him.

But instead he walks away, until he’s gone again and you’re left cold and wanting.

**Author's Note:**

> support my writing? www.ko-fi.com/deltachye  
> tumblr: https://deltachye.tumblr.com/tagged/chye%27s-fics


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